I don't know if you've noticed, but whining has been a recurring theme on this blog lately. And by "lately", I mean for a pretty long time. Way too long, probably, and I'm sorry about that.
The point is that I haven't been all that happy - and I wasn't able to figure out why. I'm one of those rare people who - literally - got all of my dream jobs within five years of finishing my degree. That's pretty amazing.
The problem was that my life wasn't amazing. As a matter of fact, I was downright depressed a lot of the time, and generally feeling like all those dreamjobs were sucking the life right out of me. And yes, I probably was working a bit too much, but still; that wasn't enough to explain why I felt so horrible. It was pretty scary, to be honest. Because if all your dreams come true, and you're still not happy, does that mean you're simply unable to be happy?
Of course it didn't help that I lost the day job and have been working hard to find something permanent since then. But as a matter of fact, that turned out to be a blessing in disguise: I got some career coaching, and I suddenly had a lightbulb moment: I wasn't happy in my dream jobs because they weren't my dream jobs. Simple as that.
Because yes, I love writing fiction - but sitting in an office writing press releases all day is like watching paint dry to me (I'm still reeling a bit when I'm writing this, because I thought it was my dream for such a long time). Instead I need to be challenged, and I love being around other people. And most of all, I love teaching.
I can't tell you how relieved I am right now. Because yes, looking for a job is suddenly a lot easier and a lot more fun. But most importantly, I've realized that I'm not unable to be happy; I've just been a little slow on the uptake when it comes to knowing myself and what makes me tick. But hey, I'd rather be slow than unhappy;).
Oh, God. I just realized that I actually have a tag called "whining". Well, I hope I'll use it more sparingly in the future! And I promise to have a free story for you one of these days as well - as penance!
I read and I write - everything from corporate to kink. My naughty fictional friends are always there to make my life interesting. And pester me, of course. Pesky creatures.