It has been a long time since I've posted anything here. And yes, it does have something to do with my last post about the new day job. Which turned into the day job from... Well, I'm actually not sure whether it's the job from heaven or hell.
See, what was supposed to have been a nice little consultancy gig quickly outgrew all my nice plans. Plans which included long weekends and lots of writing now that I didn't have to stress about being unemployed anymore. The perfect combination of day job and writing time, in other words.
Reality turned out to be very different, though. Especially the idea about having lots of time to write quickly drowned in 100-hour workweeks. Which is okay for a week or two, but this simply went on. And on. And on. And now I seem to have accepted the position permanently. Which is where "I don't know if this is a good idea" comes into the picture.
Because I don't write. I haven't for a while, and in the beginning, I blamed the stress from being unemployed or the frustration of the piracy of my books (because that is enough to make me want to quit writing at times, to be honest. People stealing my books while I'm working six jobs to make ends meet makes me angry and frustrated to say the least).
Now I'm beginning to worry when (when. I don't dare say whether) I'll write again. I'm one of those writers who needs time to get into the flow before I can write anything decent, so a few hours here and there simply don't work for me. I need longer stretches of uninterrupted, stressless downtime - and I don't have that at the moment. I'm not even sure whether I'll write anything for Torquere's charity event this year, and that bothers me, because I like writing, and I like being a writer. I want it back, dammit. I'm just not quite sure how to do it.
My plans at the moment - for lack of better ideas - are to take it easy over the summer and then begin the heaven/hell job in the fall - and do my best to make sure that I don't drown in an all-consuming job. I've promised myself to walk away if it comes to that. And then I hope that writing time will magically appear again. Because I have at least four ideas just waiting for me.
Dear God, that was a maudlin blog post! And right before my vacation. I swear to write a more upbeat post for you when I come back from my holiday; there may even be photos:). What about you - any job crises or vacations in your life?
I read and I write - everything from corporate to kink. My naughty fictional friends are always there to make my life interesting. And pester me, of course. Pesky creatures.